I sat on top of a burnt out school bus that had been dragged under the trees to rust and rot. It was my place to meditate.
Today the Commander ran with me and he is getting better. He's 6'2" and has a long stride so I get to go faster which today was fun. The air was crisp and cool but not windy. The sun was out tanning my face even darker while burning the Commanders head and arms.
I needed the time on top of the school bus because of a certain confusion growing in me over the Commander. It was just a thing now that sooner or later at night we would end up holding each others hands and he had gone out on more runs together. Sometimes we were alone in the bunk together making jokes and he seemed more human and vulnerable then. We liked many of the same things and always seemed to agree.
I was imagining things - I thought to myself. No way the commander of the entire base would fall for a puny runner.
I was still awaiting my test results from New Portland but my kidneys seemed to be doing much better. I noted that my diet had very little sugar in it and they had begun to get better.
Every time I was around the Commander I felt funny, self conscious and odd. I sighed. Sometimes it was like a tickle at the back of my mind, something I should remember or dots I should have already connected.
War was coming kinda like winter -- on a day like today neither seemed likely.
Several deer wandered up under the bus browsing at the stickery berry bushes. I didn't want to scare them. I sat quietly legs crossed.
The last words I had with the Commander he asked if I would be available for a run tomorrow as well.
I didn't know what to make of it so decided to put it out of my mind - there was no way someone in such a high place would fall for someone like me. He was always so busy, there had to be another explanation...
Poor Commander - it had been a brutally hard week and people had died and people had been saved and costly decisions had to be made and there was no one but him and occasionally the effervescent Grant to take it all on. He was a solid cold stone so much of the time, but occasionally his humanity peaked out as we watched funny vids on my old laptop or when he reached for my hand in the middle of the night then he transformed and I knew it was a transformation that he only allowed me to see. Maybe such trust made me nervous. He was, I mused, about the most dangerous friend I could possibly have - yet also the most interesting.
